Polska Brain Jelly


I Just Don’t Learn

by on Jun.14, 2011, under Stupidity

Today I started working out again.  I mean, it worked out so well for me a while back.

I know I’m not in the best of shape, but I have some decent endurance.  I just don’t know if I’m pushing myself too hard or what, but after my experience today, I have to wonder why people do this on a regular basis.

Some even like it.  Freaks.

So I work out today.  Warm up on a bike and then do some upper body weights.  Cool down and grab my stuff to go.  I felt fine throughout the workout and even after.  Tired, but nothing like what I was about to experience.

About ten minutes after my workout, right before I left the locker room, I started feeling ill.

I wasn’t light headed, but nauseous.  It started out light, but grew fairly quickly.

It was like getting puke inducing drunk, only without the alcoholic haze to make it somewhat bearable.

Made it to the hotel and took a thirty minute nap, then ate.  Those both helped tremendously.

Not sure if I pushed myself further than I should have, but if I did, then I was totally unaware.  In fact, I still could have worked out more, but I had done everything that I planned so I called it a day.  If my body is delaying the warning signs for exhaustion until well after the point of no return, I’m in trouble.

I can’t believe people really like doing this.

Of course, true to form, I’m going to do it again tomorrow.

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Washington and Michigan Renew My Faith in Stupidity

by on Nov.15, 2010, under Stupidity

My faith was faltering.  I was beginning to get complacent thinking that people couldn’t do anything dumber than I had already seen.

Boy was I wrong.

Seems there is a new alcoholic energy drink on the market that is the current drinking fad for all those barely legal to drink (and probably those that aren’t).

Four Loko.

You have to hand it to marketers.  They take a liquid whose color isn’t found anywhere in nature, tastes like a bag of skittles mixed with jet fuel, call it something like Four Loko and manage to make it fly off the shelves.  They are geniuses.

Anyway, it seems college students have “been sickened” after drinking Four Loco and hospitalized.

Imagine that, college students “sickened” after drinking and even hospitalized.  I thought that was a college requirement.

Washington and Michigan don’t think so.  They have banned Four Loko, calling it an unsafe drink.

Why?  Because of the caffeine?  Caffeinated alcoholic drinks have been around for much longer than these. (Sparks has been around since 2002, although they pulled the caffeine in 2008 due to pressures from a watchdog group).

Is it the sugary sweet flavor?  Doubt it.  There have been sickeningly sweet alcoholic beverages around for longer than I’ve been alive with higher alcoholic content than Four Loko (which I will now refer to as FL since I can’t stand that name).

No, this is a knee jerk reaction that will do nothing but inflate the self worth of a tiny few who think they are bettering the world by making decisions for others.

Look, college kids drink.  College kids get drunk.  College kids sometimes get really drunk and then get sick.  An unfortunate few get too drunk and get hospitalized and/or die.  It’s tragic, but it’s life.

Banning a product that has no more inherent danger than other products of its kind is stupid.

They should ban it because of its name.

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One Born Every Minute

by on Apr.07, 2010, under Stupidity

It amazes me the number of scams out there.  Not so much that there are scammers, that part I accept.  The part that amazes me is the fact that to support so many scams there have to be people that fall for them.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m against scams and scammers.  Scam artists are life forms just above that slimy brown algae that forms in a fish tank filter.

I have to wonder though who the people are that fall for some of these scams.  Many of them are so obvious that’s it almost seems like a spoof on scams.

Take for instance SatelliteDirect.

I was first made aware of SatelliteDirect from a comment on this blog.  The comment read:

I really like this blog. I’m thinking of utilizing A similar format for my own. I’ll keep an eye out for your following postings since I definitely liked visiting. Thank You 🙂

My first thought was yay!  Someone found something useful on my site.

Then I read it again, and the stinkings of spam started to penetrate my senses.

Notice the very generic tone.  Now notice how complimentary they are, even thinking of mimicking their blog based on mine.  However they never say what they like or what they want to duplicate.

I get several of these a week, however this is actually the first one that has come from the States and not Russia (no, I have nothing against Russia.  When someone comments on my blog I get a WHOIS trace on the comment.)

Out of curiosity I check out the link attached to the comment.  It takes me to an actual blog that was created on Tripod of all places (I didn’t even realize they still existed).  There was a long blog post about watching satellite TV on your computer for a low price.

Again, warning bells go off.

This being a hobby of mine, I decide to check this out further.  Oddly enough they don’t drop the name of the software on the Tripod page.  At the bottom there are two more links, one to another blog on WordPress and one to a Blogspot blog.

The Blogspot blog shows paydirt.  There is a banner ad right in the middle of the post for SatelliteDirect.

I head to their site.  It’s not a bad looking site, professional and even legit looking.  They have a “product review” at the top.  According to Interactive Media Magazine, SatelliteDirect is “[u]nequivocally the best TV to PC software on the Net!”  They also have some award badges for fake internet awards at the bottom (note to scammers, if you are going to give yourself fake awards, at least make a fake award site to link to).

What really should set off alarms are the promises of 3,500 HD channels for only $49.95.


The U.S. alone apparently has over 700 HD channels.  I don’t think the U.S. has 700 channels alone, much less in HD.

A quick search for Interactive Media Magazine leads me to a site that basically says SatelliteDirect is a scam.  I haven’t fully studied that site or the site it directs to (No Bull TV on PC Reviews), so I’m not linking them here.  However, a quick search will get you there if you are curious, however tread lightly.  Like I said, I haven’t checked them out so I don’t know if they carry any malicious code.

A further search on SatelliteDirect shows some very disgruntled customers.

Yep, people have paid the approximately fifty dollars for the promise of free TV.  They aren’t happy with the returns, citing unresponsive customer service and broken promises.

Who would’ve thunk it.

Satellite TV is not to be had for a one time cost of fifty bucks.  There are plenty of free options to watch TV on the internet for free on top of that.  I, in fact, have a dear friend who has found the wonders of Chinese fed Internet TV.  Even if you don’t want to wade through pages of Chinese characters to watch your favorite TV shows, most are offered online by the networks that broadcast them or sites like Hulu.  There is usually a time delay, but hey, it’s free.

I’m still confused.  “Too good to be true” didn’t become a cliche because it wasn’t accurate.  I think the drive to get something for nothing has ended up costing many people a lot more than they were trying to save.  Especially if the scam ends up harvesting credit information for fraud or identity theft.

Update: The site for SatelliteDirect is registered to ETV Corp out of Miami, FL.  I’m curious if “Corp” is a protected term in Florida and if the company is an actual registered corporation.

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Code Red

by on Mar.22, 2010, under Stupidity

I’ve mentioned a few times the ten page term paper due at the end of the semester.

Yeah, it’s due April 11th.


Entering panic mode in 10… 9… 8…

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Self Inflicted Stupidity: Day 2

by on Jan.19, 2010, under Stupidity

I’m finally able to walk again.

My legs have recovered from the elliptical torture device training extravaganza.  They aren’t sore and I don’t feel like every step might make my face intimately familiar with the ground.

So I wake up this morning and head to the gym.  It’s another day of weight training.  This time the instructor has printed out a workout routine for us to use for the next two weeks.  It only includes Tuesday and Thursday on mine, so either he a) hasn’t read my email (I couldn’t be that lucky), b) realizes that I’m old and out of shape and that my email probably bit off more than I could ever begin to chew (again, not that lucky), or c) just made the same routine for everyone.  Since the guy that arrived at around the same time I did got the same routine, I’m voting for c.

I scan over the routine while he’s explaining some of the workout and I breathe a sigh of relief to see that an elliptical machine is nowhere to be found.

Is it bad when you have nightmares about ellipticals chasing you only to find you have no legs to run with?  I think I hate ellipticals more than I hate clowns.

Great, now I’m probably going to have nightmares about being chased by clowns on ellipticals.

Anyway, today the sheet says I get to warm up on a stationary bike.  To my surprise, I find one available.  The class must be thinning out already.

Warm up and most of the routine go great.  It’s mostly upper body with a few leg exercises.  I take it a little easy on the legs.  They have made it clear that if I mess them up again they will pack up and leave.

I finish all of the machine exercises which leaves just the core workout left.  It’s abs and obliques today, and I mull over which to start with.

In my younger days, I was the sit-up master.  I could do sit-ups all day.  I could out-sit-up just about everyone.  I did sit-ups on the ground, in an incline or even upside down.  I was fast, I was good at it.  Sitting-up was my thing.

Again, I stress that I’m no longer young.

I was feeling good.  I had successfully completed a workout routine without killing myself and was feeling worked, but not exhausted.  I decided it was time to do what I did best: sit-ups

I’m laying down, feeling good, about to perform my pièce de résistance.

I do a sit-up.

Well, it was my intention to do a sit-up.  What happened was my upper body left the ground, hit a forty degree angle and stopped.  My feet soon thereafter proceeded to come up off the floor, which then threw off the whole process and I collapsed back down in a heap of disbelief.

I start wondering exactly how long it had been since I had last done a sit-up.

Okay, the square root of… carry the one… subtract by the angular momentum of Pluto…

Yeah, it’s been a while.

I figure that I’m just rusty.  My technique is a little off, but once I get started it will all come back to me.  I am the sit-up master, after all.

Take two.  I do a sit-up. I attempt to do a sit-up.  Again, my upper body leaves the ground, lower body leaves the ground, I collapse back to the ground.

Yet again, reality rears it’s ugly head.

I’m really beginning to hate reality.

At this point I realize that a sit-up is probably beyond me.  I’ve already flopped on the ground twice like non-sitting up fish, so to save face I continue to do some crunches like that was my intention all along.

I didn’t even attempt the obliques.  It involves balancing on one elbow and twisting my body.  I can’t even do a sit-up, how do I expect to hold myself up with one arm and twist my body towards the ground with out breaking something, curling up into a fetal position and dying.

I head home, defeated again.  This time by gravity and my apparent lack of abdominal muscles.

Stupid reality.

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