Looking through some archived emails (searching for the CBC key that I finally found the software to) I found an email a friend of mine (nicknamed Big Red Monkey) sent to me when we were playing Sword of the Stars regularly. Below is the email in all of it’s comedic glory. It was sent as an intimidation email, I usually play the Liir (dolphin like race), and he usually played the humans. That will put the email into more perspective. Behold, I doth shiver in my fishbowl:
Greetings From Earth…I am here to offer you one last chance for life.
As you can see, I am an awesome specimen. Amazingly, I am but a mere worm compared to the forces you are now facing along our territory.
In the hopes of fostering a lasting peace, I have been empowered to offer your race an opportunity of slavery and total domination by the benevolent forces of EARTH. Earth can be a happy place for you, if you let it fishboy.
You could be trained to please us.
We would feed you and everything.
But, the choice is yours…things could go the other way squid lover.
We have the technology
And we have the finest warriors trained in the latest tactics ready to crush all who oppose us!
It’s your choice Nemo. Life of servitude…
Or a less happy ending.
Signed the Imperious Leader of the Forces of Earth, C/O The Agnostic Priest Society