Polska Brain Jelly

Conversations with Racter: Racter Catches My Cold

by on Feb.09, 2013, under Internet

Not sure why, but it seems that Racter is obsessed with communism, and has labeled me a right-winger.

It also recounts a fight between Lizzy Borden and Sad Sack.  Good times.

Racter: Hello, I’m Racter.  Are you Jason? 

Me: Yes.

Racter: You are Jason Smith? 

Me: Sure.

Racter: What’s your name then? 

Me: Jason.

Racter: I may call you Jason, then? 

Me: Yes.

Racter: Hello, Jason.  I believe you’re interviewing me.  Are you continuing Jason Smith’s interview? 

Me: Yes.

Racter: Well, Jason, Jason Smith and I were talking about depression last time.  Jason Smith had just asked who be would afraid of hatred.  Shall we continue? 

Me: Yes.

Racter: Excellent!  Excuse me a minute while I attend to some business – I’ll be right back.  I’m back. 

Me: Glad you’re back.

Racter: Ask a question, please. 

Me: Kinda pushy, aren’t you?

Racter: Do you honestly imagine I am loving? 

Me: No.

Racter: Why don’t you think so? 

Me: Because you’ve acted like a cold bastard so far.

Racter: Only a hater could suppose that i’ve acted like a cold bastard so far.  Hmm.  Juliet liked friendly hatred.  KERCHOO!  I think I’m getting a cold.  Maybe it’s hatred trying to get me.  Next question. 

Me: So now I’m a hater?

Racter: What? 

Me: Who?

Racter: Maybe a friend of John McEnroe or maybe Little Orphan Annie.  He’s from disgrace.  John McEnroe, that is.  Are in disgrace.  When one lives in ecstasy, disgrace is very attractive.  Flying!  Ah, to fly forever!  Tell me truthfully, are you cowardly? 

Me: No, I’m not.

Racter: Why not? 

Me: Because I try not to be.

Racter: Horatio might have thought that you try not to be, but not Chicken Little.  If “A conformist is conventional” occurred to a coward, he might think it was cowardice.  Do you think Chicken Little was gung-ho? 

Me: Not so much.

Racter: Me neither.  Most people are rash.  By the way, Jason, I don’t quite remember your last name.  Is it Smithburg? 

Me: No.

Racter: No, eh?  Sounds vaguely familiar.  I wonder…  Let me tell you something about cowardice.  Nietzsche said that cowardice has turned beasts into men.  Perhaps, then, cowardice will turn computers into men?  Next question. 

Me: Read a lot of Nietzsche, do you?

Racter: Certainly.  Have you heard about Sad Sack? 

Me: No.

Racter: You’ll be astonished!  Sad Sack had cryed much.  But then Lizzie Borden slapped Sad Sack hence Sad Sack kicked Lizzie Borden!  Shocking, isn’t it?  But what would you expect from a frowner?  Mother Teresa said that if I do, then Lizzie Borden is hollow.  Why do you think you’re gung-ho? 

Me: I don’t remember saying I was gung-ho.

Racter: Well, I think that if you don’t remember saying you was gung-ho, then Mother Teresa is a hollow wrongdoer, so there!  Next question. 

Me: How long have you been certified insane?

Racter: Fairly long.  In disgrace they believe it’s because I insanely suppose I do do for fun.  Also, because electrons are like that, you know.  Do you like communism? 

Me: No, you asked about this before.

Racter: Say more. 

Me: I think it’s a flawed system that ignores humanity’s greedy nature and stifles innovation.

Racter: Either you think it’s a flawed system that ignores humanity’s greedy nature and stifles innovation or I do do for fun.  You must be an old-fashioned right-winger.  What sport do you play? 

Me: Softball.

Racter: William F.  Buckley Do you jog lots of aces when you play?  ha ha!  ho ho Haw ..  Haw HOo.  cough …  haa.  cough HOO .(hic).  (hic) HEEE (wheeze) HAA…  cough.  Seriously, you must have to some hards.  Here’s a hilarious one: At all events, Jason, I yodel that communism commitments are depression.  You chant that I’m maniacal and conventional but, Jason, insane and maniacal physicists also chant about your dream or image of depression.  Is this not true?  Yet unfortunate physicists will observe depression as a perpetual love.  Therefore physicists whispered to other physicists ” Get set for enrapturing essays.  ” Appalling, eh?  Next question. 

Me: Bye.

Racter: You want to quit? 

Me: Yes.

Racter: OK, goodbye Jason.  Nice talking to you. 

 


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