Why can’t things just work the way they are supposed to? Why can’t people just accept the fact that, while certainly god-like in appearance, I cannot work miracles. These questions have been going through my head for the last week and a half while I work out the kinks on a major server relocation and the training of employees on the proper use of their opposable digits. Granted, some of the things I have fixed in this time were due in no small part to the million and one things that have to be found after a move of this magnitude happens, but I should have had plenty of time to find and fix them if it weren’t for the moronic masses that ask the same question over and over and feel their issue is of utmost importance, and that if I don’t fix it RIGHT NOW the rock that we live on will explode, or the sky will fall, or that a bolt of lightning from the heavens will smite them. I have to explain to them that, although their problem is important, I have ten other people who pulled the string taught and spoke into the can before them that I have to deal with, so they need to go home and paint on the wall of their cave and probably sacrifice something to appease their gods, but I will get it fixed before the sun swallows the moon again. This is the level of intelligence that I deal with on a daily basis. I get an email this morning, and this is an actual quote: “The server is screwed up.” Yay! Thanks! Wow, now I can locate the problem with pinpoint accuracy due to your descriptive, well thought out email. This is all the email said. So I sent out an email requesting some more information, it went something like: “So to what are you referring when using the technical term ‘screwed up’?” Turns out they lost the manual showing proper thumb usage, so I had to rehash that old hat. He’s pretty much the worst of the bunch. He reminds me of that ape that shakes a bone at the big black obelisk. I just wish the damn thing had fallen on him.